Men and cleaning the house

Men, those divine creatures that we love so much...yet at the same time want to throttle too. I love my boyfriend dearly. But why can't he help clean the house? Why doesn't he know how to wash dishes or make the bed? Why must clothes lie all over the house when they could just as easily lie in the hamper in the laundry room? It is frustrating when we get home from work and I have an hour of house cleaning to do but my boyfriend is already on the couch with his feet up.

I want to live in a clean house. It is very important to me. Why does he give me a hard time when I ask him to do something small like make the bed or wash the dishes or take out the trash? A little help would go a long way in reducing the amount of nagging that I do. We women nag because it is the last resort in getting our men to do something that we have politely asked them to do ten times. My happiness level would soar if my boyfriend would help me out around the house, thereby allowing me more free time to relax and do the things that I want to do.

World Poverty and Giving Back

I just got back from the grocery store a few hours ago, and I bought some sushi and some South African Chardonnay, among other things. And I felt really lucky that I could go grocery shopping and not have to worry about where the money was coming from. I am not by any means wealthy, but I do have some money. I have a nice apartment, I have a decent job that provides health and dental insurance, I have a 401(k), I have a little savings, I am not in debt (unless you count my student loans, which I don't). I have a cat, and after the recall nightmare, I am able to buy him natual cat food (ie. expensive cat food). And I am lucky, really lucky for these blessings in my life.

I have not felt sorry for myself since I did some research on world poverty. One day at work I saw a blurb on the front page of the newspaper that said something about the most expensive handbag in the world. I admit that I was curious and turned to the page with this handbag. The Louis Vuitton Patchwork handbag that costs $45,352 US dollars. And it is the ugliest creation that I have ever seen. It looks like someone dug it out of the garbage. I was immediately disgusted by how shallow and materialistic we are as a society. It is a tragic commentary on the times that the handbag is sold out. There is a waiting list a mile long, meanwhile people are starving all over the world.

But I wondered, how many people could you help with that $45,352? In India, there are 36 Billionaires, but 80% of Indians live on less than $2 per day, and India has the world's largest number of poor people. As of 2005, there were 691 US-dollar Billionaires and 8.7 million US-dollar Millionaires worldwide. But nearly 3 billion people live on less than $2 per day. So how many people could you help for the price of that handbag? 22,676 people could be given $2 each. If every one of those absurdly wealthy people gave even 1% of their income to the needy of the world, would there be anyone still in need? I think this world is need of more giving, more compassion, more love towards our fellow human beings. So many people are living in conditions that we cannot even imagine. Give a liitle something today.

Here are two to start out:
www.kiva.org Kiva allows you to lend to a specfic entrepreneur in the developing world, thereby empowering them to pull themselves out of poverty (this is called microlending). Muhammad Yunus won the Noble Peace Prize in 2006 for his pioneering work on microlending.
www.heifer.org Heifer Project International helps impoverished families worldwide become more self-reliant through the gift of livestock and training in their care.

Giving is not only the right thing to do, but it feels good to do it too.

Inspiring Songs

These are songs that personally inspired me, made me want to be a better person, made me happier, made me want to live a better life, gave me hope.

"Learning to Fly"-Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
"Beautiful Day"-U2
"This is Your Night"-Amber
"Walking on Sunshine"-Katrina and the Waves
"Ray of Light"-Madonna
"Lose Yourself"-Eminem
"Feel Good Inc."-Gorillaz
"What You Waiting For?"-Gwen Stefani
"It's My Life"-No Doubt (a good remake of a song from the 80's)
"Regret"-New Order
"Storms In Africa"-Enya

Financial Health

I feel like this is so important. Your financial health can affect your physical and mental health. Believe me, I am speaking from experience. A few years out of college, I was over $13,000 in the hole on credit cards and owed more than that in student loans. I owed more than I made in a year. Pathetic and scary at the same time. I had to claw my way out of the dark hole of debt, and I will tell you how: with hard work and sacrifice. I sought help from a credit counseling agency and got on a debt management plan. Beware of the terms-if I had not paid more than the minimum every month, I might still be in credit card debt. No matter what, whether you choose to do it yourself or seek financial help, always pay more than the minimum payment! Pay those cards off one by one, starting with the card with the highest percentage rate. Work your way down the line. Put the cards away. Do not use credit-ever-unless you need it for business purposes or an extreme emergency. A flat screen tv does not equal an emergency.

Trying to keep up with the Joneses (ie. living above your means) is not a good way to live and will make you a slave to material possessions and credit. Do not eat out or buy coffee everyday-not only can you save hundreds a month, but you will be much healthier too. Save a little bit of money every month for emergencies or even for something that you want to buy so you do not have to rely on credit. And contribute to your 401(k) plan at work, even if it is just 1% at first. It is taken out before your income is taxed, and you get to claim your contributions when you file your income taxes each year, which puts you in the black with the IRS.

Being financially healthy requires a lot of work and sacrifice, but it is worth it. I am credit card debt free, and I have paid down my student loans significantly. I feel lighter because I do not have a debt monkey sitting on my back, stressing me out and depressing me. I will not be a slave to debt!

Having a Healthy Weight

This has definitely been a demon for most of my life. It all began in high school, when I became anorexic. Then after that, college, where I gained more than the "freshman fifteen" because I ate pretty much whatever I wanted and drank a lot of alcohol. Then I graduated and lived on my own, losing weight again (I really couldn't afford groceries). After I got my first real job, I started eating terrible again and drinking heavily, so I gained weight. Joined a gym, lost weight. Stopped going to the gym, gained weight. Back and forth. Dated a man for almost two years who did not care what he ate, gained a lot of weight. Dumped man. Started walking to work and eating healthy. Lost weight. Dating a man now who cares not one bit what he puts in his mouth. Gained weight. Joined a gym. Lost weight. Stopped going to the gym. Gained it right back. I am currently down 14 pounds (and counting) from my weight a year and a half ago, and I have never felt better.

I will share with you why it is working this time and how I am going to keep it off. I write down every single thing that I eat on a sheet of paper, and I keep track of calories. I go by the mantra that "you are what you eat." Keeping track of what I eat makes me think twice before I needlessly shove that candybar, donut, bag of chips into my mouth. I measure out servings/look on the back of products for serving sizes. It is eye-opening that serving sizes are so much smaller in actuality than we think they are. I do not drink a lot of alcohol anymore. I eat a lot of bad food when I am inebriated. Plus, alcoholic drinks can have a lot of calories too. I do not drink juice or soda. I do not put sugar in my coffee or tea. I drink only skim milk and lots of water. I eat a lot of vegetables and fruit. I do not eat out very often. Eating out is a diet disaster. You have no control over what goes into your food. I do not eat what my boyfriend eats. We buy our own groceries. I will even leave the room if he is eating something that is tempting me, and I will go and make myself a cup of hot tea. Tea helps calm my stomach when I feel hungry. I do not eat late at night. On the rare occasion when I do, I limit the calories to around 400 and eat foods that are low in fat. I do not deprive myself. If I feel like having a slice of pizza, I will eat one and adjust my caloric intake accordingly. I eat "bad" foods in moderation. I go out of my way to get more physical activity. I will walk wherever I can, and I take the stairs whenever possible. And I ride my bicycle. I am seeing the results and feeling the results every day. I look better and feel better. I am calmer and happier and feel more in control of my life. Once I made up my mind to treat my body better, the rest came naturally.

Riding a Bicycle

This past Christmas, I received a bicycle as a gift. It is beautiful. It is curvy and pink (pink is my favorite color) and is called Athena V. It is only the second bicycle I have ever owned. The first was also pink and called Rose, and I got it for my birthday. So well over a decade and a half later I found myself riding a bike for the first time...again. And it is so exhilarating. And you really don't forget how to ride. I was afraid I would. I am a bit of a klutz, so I do wear a helmet (pink as well), but I am actually pretty good. It has made me feel like a kid again, remembering when I first learned how to ride. My dad would put me on my bike and push me down the sidewalk. It was either pedal and learn how to stay upright fast or crash and burn. I was fearless as a kid. Riding my bicycle now, I am beginning to regain some of that childlike confidence, enthusiasm and fearlessness.

Life Is a Choose Your Own Adventure Book

Life is full of choices. Each and every day you will make decisions that will either take you this way or that way. We are responsible for what we do, what we say, how we act, how we conduct ourselves moment by moment. It is actually very exciting and daunting at the same time. Feel the power that you have. The great thing about it is that it is like those Choose Your Own Adventure books. If you do not like the outcome of one choice, simply flip back to the choices and make another one. It is not easy, but nothing is ever fixed in life until the day that you die. You are never trapped. You can try and try again.

I really feel like this right now. I took a turn down a path, and frankly, I am not fond of the scenery. So I am looking for another path. I keep my senses alert because when I come upon the path I want to try next, I will be ready. And just because I want to try a new path, does not mean that I wasted my time on this one. Wrong turns can teach you a lot about yourself-how you handle adversity, disappointment, negativity. I gained a great deal of strength and insight on this path. I am proud of the person that I am today. Learn from your mistakes and failures because that knowledge will guide you on the path to success.

The Golden Rule

I do not believe that people are taught the Golden Rule anymore. The Golden Rule is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It is a good way to live your life. It forces you to remember that there are other people besides yourself and that you should consider their feelings. In a world of 6 billion people and counting, if we cannot learn to live in harmony with each other, with other animals, with nature, then there is no hope for the future. I find that when I live my life with respect for others and my surroundings, I am happier, more content with life.

Make a Bad Day Go Away

Sometimes you get up on the wrong side of the bed, and things just go downhill from there. But I will tell you something...if you learn to put the brakes on a bad day, you can make it go away. One thing I will do is take very deep breaths. I will take as many as I need to feel my body calm down. Think about a happy memory and force a smile onto your face. Get up and go for a walk. If you are at home, that could simply mean walking away from whatever you are doing. But even if you are at work, get up and walk around. I personally tell my coworkers that I am going to get coffee. This works threefold. One, other people inevitably want coffee too, so I am actually running an office errand. Two, I am getting out of the office and getting the walk I needed to clear my head. Three, I love coffee, so I am actually treating myself. Or simply think about all of the things that you are grateful for, all of the good things in your life. I think about all of the wonderful people in my life and about all of the cool things that I have done thus far. Next thing you know, your bad day is gone.

What Your Pets Teach You About Life

It has been a hard couple of months in our household. One of my cats passed in December, and my boyfriend's dog just passed last night. He had cancer, but it was totally unexpected for us. We got home last night, and one thing after another happened until he took his last breath right there in front of our eyes. And I am very sad, but it made me realize how precious life is. So I wanted to share what I learned from my pets about life.

1) Love unconditionally-pets are so full of love for you, and it does not matter what you do, they love you as much today as they did yesterday. They do not hold grudges or keep score.

2) Always ask for what you want-it does not matter how many times you may tell them "no" about a certain food or that you are too tired to play or whatever, they will look at you with those eyes, cry, paw at you, simply wear you down until you give in.

3) Follow your instincts-about people, about situations, about anything. Animals just "know" what is going on. My other cat knew that the dog was going to pass, but we did not see the signs ourselves.

4) Live your life to the fullest-Sleep when you want to sleep, play when you want to play, be who you are and know that people will love you. We should all take more time to do the things that we want to do. In a hectic world, it is easy to get caught up in the rat race. But in the end, the only thing that really matters is that you lived a life full of love.