As if seeing Groundhog Day was not enough, I am now watching Sex and the City on TBS. My God, it is like I am Carrie Bradshaw...minus the fabulous wardrobe, apartment and job. She thinks the exact same things as I do. Is there something I am missing? Why can't I just be happy with what I have? I wish that it were that easy, like there was a magic chant you could perform to erase your memory so you could forget all of the things that you had wished and hoped for and never gotten.
I don't even really know what I want. But I do know how I feel right now. Trapped. I cannot even breathe sometimes. I need to do something drastic. I need a change.
What can I do to feel in control of my life again? How do I break out of this rut? How did I build this cage around myself? I wonder if there are people out there who feel like me. Everyone seems so much surer of themselves than I do. People my age should know what they want by now, shouldn't they? People should have a chosen path at this point in their life, right?
I want to pull out my hair. My mind won't stop. It is screaming at me. DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING will do at this point.
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