Holiday Hell

For anyone trying to watch their weight, the holidays are hell. Beginning one week before Halloween and ending sometime in January of the next year, the holidays are just one gluttony filled, candy-cookie-cake-turkey-mashed potatoes-pie-stuffing-you name it we'll eat it, day after day. Not to mention all of the imbibing of wine, eggnog, beer, and the like at parties.

It is so hard when there are just boxes and boxes full of candy and cookies sitting mere feet or 'gasp' mere inches from your hands. And once it is in your hands it is only a matter of mere seconds before it ends up in your mouth. Turning into extra pounds. The pants start getting tighter around this time of year, despite all of our 'running' errands.

Well, the cookie stops here (short of my mouth). I am not gaining the standard 7-8 pounds the average American gains over the holidays. Losing weight is not going to be one of my New Year's resolutions. I am resolving to keep it off NOW.

Stumbling on Happiness

We are all just floundering around, trying to make the most out of our lives. I know that is what I am doing. I try to get the most out of every day no matter what happens. Bad things happen...you get up late, your commute sucks, you are bored at work, you get yelled at, whatever, things happen. You can get upset about it or you can shrug your shoulders and plow on through. I used to get upset about what other people 'did' to me, but then I realized that no one was 'out to get me' and getting upset about someone bumping into me or walking slowly or cutting me off or whatever injustice they were committing was not really being done to me. And I stopped getting upset. And things have actually gotten better. You stop noticing all of the little supposed injustices. Your day improves. You are happier.

World Is Coming to an End

The world as we know it is coming to an end. I think we have at most 25-50 years left on the planet. Frankly, I think we deserve what we are about to get too. Using up natural resources, polluting, causing the extinction of hundreds if not thousands of species, no respect for other creatures or even fellow humans, lack of compassion and foresight, greed, materialism, wastefulness, the list goes on and on. We are a virus on the Earth, spreading out and suffocating life. I am ashamed of myself and the whole human race. I am sorry for what we have done to this beautiful planet and all of the creatures that share it with us.

We are a virus
A plague
We were not here in the beginning
And we will not be here in the end
We are not the alpha
Or the omega
We are not the chosen ones
We are just mammals that evolved beyond the others
We could have been great
We could have done so much good
We had so much potential
And we did nothing
We learned nothing
We gained nothing
We are nothing

How to See Yourself As You Really Are

I finished this book by the Dalai Lama a couple of days ago, and these are my final observations on what I read. In order to be a truly loving and compassionate person, you must have the desire to help but also the insight to understand why you must help others. We are all sentient beings seeking the same things: happiness and freedom from suffering and pain.

Also, it is important to fully accept our impermanence. "...we think there is always lots of time remaining. This mistaken belief puts us in great danger of wasting our lives in procrastination, which is especially wasteful when our lives our blessed with the leisure and facilities to engage in productive practices...One of the chief reasons desire and hatred arise is that we are overly attached to the current flow of life. We have a sense that it will last forever, and with that sort of attitude we become fixated on superficialities-material possessions and temporary friends and situations. To overcome this ignorance, you need to reflect on the fact that a day is coming when you will not be here."

We are a part of the whole. We do not exist in of ourselves. Nothing does. The sooner you can come to realize this, the less pain and suffering you will cause yourself. It is actually comforting and empowering all at the same time to think of yourself as one small part of the whole universe, but to know that you are an integral part of it and that you do exert influence over it.

How to See Yourself As You Really Are

This is a very interesting book by the Dalai Lama that I began reading awhile ago. I have already discussed some of the interesting observations from it, but there are some more I would like to share. "If you mind is scattered, it is quite powerless. Distraction here and there opens the way for counterproductive emotions, leading to many kinds of trouble. Without clear, stable concentration, insight cannot know the true nature of phenomena in all its power."

When your mind is focused on a million different things, it is not focusing on anything at all. If you cannot think clearly, then you cannot act clearly. This is so true. When my mind is scattered, I never get anything accomplished, but when I can focus on one thing at a time, I am highly productive. Anything I ever wanted in life and singularly focused my mind on, I have gotten.

We have all of the pieces of the puzzle to live an enlightened and happy life, it is simply a matter of putting the pieces together coherently. We all have something to offer this life, but it is for each of us to look inward and realize our potential. Only after you understand the true nature of yourself, can you understand the true nature of anyone or anything.

Natural Selection

I am a firm believer in climate change (aka global warming). It is happening even as I write this. Furthermore, its severity is due to human activities, primarily, emitting CO2 into the atmosphere. I have no doubt that the Earth goes through natural cycles of warming and cooling. I just happen to think that we are the primary culprits this time around. I just saw the CNN special report called Planet in Peril. It was very interesting. Check out the website too.

Now, on the other side of the debate are the people who think climate change is a hoax. Unfortunately, one of these idiots has a Google ad on my blog titled Global Warming Facts. Natural selection will take care of him sooner rather than later so I say go check out his website for laughs.

Free speech is a beautiful thing, even if we don't agree with what other people say. It is amazing we still have it in this country. Don't be surprised if George Bush tries to pass a law against it soon. To cement his legacy of course.

Financial Headache

I keep saying in this blog that the bill for all of this credit spending is about to come due. Credit spending is when you are using credit to live from day to day. You are buying gas and groceries, paying utility bills, mortgages, etc. with your credit cards. You are spending more than you make every month without fully thinking about the consequences of repayment. The government spends more than it takes in in revenues, so it is the biggest culprit of all. That is why they say the government is running a deficit. In fact, are there any governments in this country (on the state or local level too) that are not running in the red?

Living on credit is not good. If you are consistently spending more than you make, then something is very wrong with your finances. You need to sit down and figure out exactly how much revenue is coming in and how you are spending that money. What are your expenses on a daily basis? Food, gas, lunch, etc. What are your expenses on a weekly basis? Monthly basis? Food, mortgage payment, insurance, property taxes, etc. You must keep track of every dollar that you spend for a month or two. Then you look at the list and see if there is any expense that you can eliminate. Do you really need to buy coffee everyday? Lunch? Then you look to see if there is anything that you can reduce. Can you get a cheaper cell phone plan? Find cheaper insurance? Get the interest rates on your credit cards lowered? After that, if you are still spending more than you make you need to get professional help from a financial advisor/credit counselor.

Most people will find, though, that after looking closely at their finances, they just did not really know where their money was going. You have to be vigilant. You have to be scared. Read this. This should frighten you. If it doesn't, then you are either extremely stupid or extremely wealthy. Because this could happen to almost anyone.

Hilarious

If you want to laugh at the absurdity of consumerism, read this article from the Chicago Tribune. This little girl is traumatized because she lost some dolls out of the cargo hold of a plane. One of the dolls, a Marisol Luna from American Girl, had just gotten her hair done at the salon. There is apparently a salon in this store (American Girl Place) where you can pay to have your doll's hair styled. Now she isn't sleeping well after the loss of her dolls, and she cannot even look at the vacation photos. I wonder how she is going to react when she faces real disappointments and loss in her life.

Global Warming

Wow, for anyone who still believes that there is no global warming, here are some pretty obvious and alarming signs.

Increased drought and risk of fires: example, the recent wall of flames engulfing Southern California. Read the story at Yahoo News.

Increased rainfall and flooding in other areas: example, New Orleans is getting deluged right now by heavy rains. Read that story at Yahoo News.

The glaciers are melting at an alarming rate: example, Collier Glacier in Oregon. Read that story on Yahoo News as well.

And for anyone who thinks that President George W. Bush is not the devil and single-handedly trying to bring about the end of the world, read this.

I will continue to criticize George Bush and his corrupt administration of demons, so if I don't post a blog entry in a couple of days, I am most likely in a secret prison somewhere being held without due process of law.

Irresponsible People

I know this is not very Buddha-like, but I am steamed that all of those people who never should have bought a house in the first place are getting bailed out by the banks and/or the government (see Yahoo Finance). It is really making me wish that I would be irresponsible with my money. The government is going to bail you out anyway.

Rack up too much credit card debt, declare bankruptcy. Get a mortgage that you cannot possibly pay (and have bad credit), get bailed out. Don't bother saving for retirement, get Social Security. Too lazy to work or an illegal immigrant or popping out babies, get welfare and free healthcare. Hey, have the government pay! Meanwhile, there are those of us busting our humps to save and plan for the future and have good credit and be responsible. What do I get for it? More taxes coming out of my paycheck to pay for others' stupidity.

And if you don't think all of this stupidity is having an effect, not only our economy but the global economy, see what the IMF Chief had to say about the state of the global economy yesterday.

Buddha Nature

I want to find my Buddha nature
I want to find my peace
I want to be a lotus flower
I want a sweet release
So tired of being lead astray
By my false perceptions
So tired of this unenlightened path
Strewn with my misconceptions
I will find my inner Buddha
I will find the path to nirvana
I will end this cyclic existence
I will light the way with my karma

Economic Woes

I think that the s--- is really about to hit the fan in this country. The signs are all pointing to a recession. Everything I read is grim. They are saying that not only the poor, but the middle class is beginning to feel the pinch of higher gas prices and more expensive gorceries. For more on this, see Yahoo News. Then there is the stock market. It keeps dropping too. For more on this, see Yahoo Finance.

I feel like people really need to stay abreast of what is going on economically. We live in such a global economy now, one country's financial woes (ours) is surely going to cause a stir throughout the entire world. But I really think that this is just the beginning...this country has been living on credit for so long I wondered when the bill was finally going to come due. I think the time is now.

There is a saying, a curse really: "May you live in interesting times." I believe that things are about to get really, really interesting.

We Have the Most Inept Government

I voted the Democrats into Congress because I thought that they would be able to do something about George Bush. Put him in a headlock or something useful like pass some bills real people care about like bringing our troops home, health care reform, social security reform, energy independence measures, address global warming, increase our border security, keep our jobs from being shipped overseas, make corporations more accountable and make them pay more taxes, things that would make this country a better place for all instead of a few. But no, nothing is getting done. They cannot even get a bill passed to extend government healthcare coverage to more impoverished children-see The New York Times.

George Bush is the worst President in the history of the United States. He will be looked at in the future as the man who took our country down the wrong road in every way-he has bankrupted the country, destoyed our credibilty on the world stage, ran our military into the ground, and been a giant hindrance to the efforts to halt global warming; including endangering and polluting here as well as doing nothing to curb emissions and in fact making it easier for businesses to pollute, chop down trees, and destroy the National Parks. And doing nothing to set an example for emerging economies like India and China to curb their emissions as well.

George Bush has also taken away so many of our freedoms under the Constitution that we once were able to take for granted but no longer have because of the Patriot Act. Wiretapped phones? Holding people in secret prisons? Torture? Holding people without due process of law? Putting people on lists because of the books they read? Does this sound like the United States or Communist China? Bush's approval rating is dismal. My question is why anyone approves of the job he is doing at all. He should have a 0% approval rating-no one should think that he is doing a good job.

DeGeneres' Dog Debacle

For goodness sake-let that family keep Iggy! Perhaps domesticating animals was wrong. From the beginning we were taking wolves and making them into guard dogs and companions. Then we did it to cats too. And now you can buy lizards, fish, guinea pigs, gerbils, etc. and keep them as "pets." But it is a done deed-humans like the animal companionship, and there are millions of animals out there that need good homes.

So why should it be wrong for someone to adopt an animal with the intentions of giving it a good home if that home turns out not to be their home but someone else's home? The intention was fulfilled. The animal has a good home. They are no longer confined in a cage with the possibility of getting euthanized if no one adopts them. These shelters have rules to weed out unsuitable people, I get that, but can they not take each case on its own merit?

Ultimately, it is in the animals' best interests if Mutts and Moms can find as many good homes for them as possible. So even if they have an arbitrary rule that says small dogs cannot go to homes with children under 14, would it not be better for them to use it as a general guideline, but if a home with children under 14 is suitable for a small dog and they are one big happy family, then let that family adopt the dog. Everybody wins in that situation-the family, the shelter and best of all-the dog. Isn't that ultimately what shelters are seeking to do? To find good, loving homes for their animals.

Mutts and Moms have not only done Iggy a huge disservice by yanking it out of a good home. They have also traumatized a family, and I believe, really hurt their cause in finding good homes for animals. Who will adopt pets from them now that they seem fanatical and irrational? And further, I believe that they might frighten people from adopting animals in general, from any shelter/rescue group, for fear that any slight infraction of the rules could cause the shelter/rescue group to come to their homes and take the animal away. If they can do it to Ellen DeGeneres, then they can certainly do it to you.

If you want to read the news story, check out MSNBC.

How to See Yourself As You Really Are

My friend got me two great books for my birthday. One is a book of Buddhist sayings for every day of the year. The other book, How to See Yourself As You Really Are by the Dalai Lama, is blowing my mind so far. It is thus far saying the same kinds of things that What the Bleep Do We Know?!? was saying. Things do not exist in and of themselves. Things are dependent-arising. They depend on certain causes; depend upon their parts; and they depend upon thought. "Physicists are discovering that phenomena do not exist objectively in and of themselves but exist in the context of involvement with an observer." The way we "see" things affects the way that they are. Buddhism is full of empowering information for being in the world. You do not exist in and of yourself but are the sum of your parts, events in your life and the way people "see" you. It explains things that I just "knew" but did not really know.

It amazes me how people seem to be getting more and more individualistic even as the world seems to be getting smaller-with all of the ways to interact with people all over the world. Plus, as the population continues to grow even as our resources dwindle, how can we continue to justify an individualistic existence? We need to work together as a world community to make the world a better place for everyone. Further proof that nature intended cooperation, read the following article from National Geographic.

"A house divided against itself cannot stand."-Abraham Lincoln
These words ring as true today as they did in 1858.

What Price A Tree?

At what price are the paper towels we use to clean up our messes?
At what price are the plastic bags we use to carry our groceries home?
At what price the gasoline we put in our SUVs?
At what price the electricity we use to watch our giant TVs and listen to our fancy stereo systems?
At what price the hot water we use to wash our clothes?
At what price the bananas we need to eat everyday?
At what price do these luxuries become too much to bear?
Perhaps when we no longer have anything to eat.
Perhaps when we no longer have anything to drink.
Perhaps when we no longer have any clean air to breathe.
Perhaps when it is so hot and miserable, and there is no place to go for relief.

No More Television

I know, I know, I have said this before...but I really mean it now. After watching the movie What the Bleep Do We Know?!?, I realized that watching tv was a total waste of my brain's capacity. I already knew that it was, but as I was watching the movie, I started thinking about what thoughts would run through my head as I was dying. Morbid, I know, but it was what I was thinking. And you know what I will not be giving a second thought to-all of the stupid tv that I watched over the years. What a waste! So I deleted all of my shows from the DVR. From now on, I am going to read or meditate or write. No more television. No more changing my mind about this-it is done.

What the Bleep Do We Know?

This movie will blow your mind! It is about how we have only begun to tap into the potential of our magnificent brains. And the world, too, is a magical, mystical place full of possibilities. Here are some things to think about.

The same areas of the brain light up when we "see" an object and when we "imagine" an object. The brain does not distinguish between what it "sees" and what it "remembers."

You affect the reality that you see.

Your reality is a product of your consciousness-you create your own reality.

The world is full of possible timelines of reality until we choose.

If you cannot control your emotional state, then you must be addicted to it.

Our thoughts affect our reality, and our reality = our life.

Everyone is god; god is the transcendent, the sublime, god is all around us and within us.

Your consciousness has an effect on those around you, on the material world, and on your future.

At the deepest sub-level of our reality, you and I are one. We are all inter-connected.

We are here to be creators-to make something of this life.

Check out the movie's website for more information-www.whatthebleep.com.

The Art of Being a Decent Human Being

There are some things that we can do every day to be a decent human being-someone who gives more than they take, smiles more than they frown, helps more than they hurt, and leaves the world a better place for having them in it.
1) Follow the Golden Rule-do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
2) Respect-for those around you and respect for the environment that sustains you.
3) Take care of yourself-if you do not care about yourself, then you will not care about others.
4) Live sustainably-Be sensitive to the impact that you have on the environment.
5) Give more than you take-give your time and money to charitable causes that you believe in.
6) Live each moment for the precious opportunity that it is.

Global Warming

If I hear one more person say that there is no global warming, I am going to scream. Are you kidding me? Are people really that stupid? Every scientist is saying that global warming is a fact, and we have to do something before it gets any worse. Because it is already happening. Events are occuring that are changing our world already, and unless we do something drastic to cut greenhouse gases, I seriously doubt that the world as we know it is going to be around after 2050.

The food we eat, the water we drink, the air we breathe-these things are going to be compromised and a lot of people are going to die. Billons of people are going to die. But people just have to have their Hummers and SUVs and their McMansions with 30 rooms and 10 bathrooms and the 72" LCD TV. Possessions are not going to do anyone any good if they cannot eat or drink or breathe. This is going to happen sooner than people want to think about.

This should have been the top news story yesterday, but I saw it on Yahoo News. I don't think people want to hear this kind of stuff, but I personally think that we need to hear this every day. The world is on the brink, and if we don't do something drastic and very soon, then the world we know it will be over. We raped the earth for our own advancement, and now we are about to pay the very high price for our greed.

Addiction

Trying to understand addiction
What is so great about cocaine?
Does it cure your affliction?
Take away your pain?
I plead and beg you
To try and stop
I scream and cry
But my voice cannot drown out
The sound of your needs
They pound in your head
And call out your name
It masquerades as home
How can I compete with it?
I know deep in my soul
That you will choose your addiction over me
Each day you are in deeper and deeper
It must be so dark where you are
So dark that you can no longer see
Your reality is different from mine
I do not understand your world
It is a scary, soul-less place
That I do not want to ever know
What will become of us?
Living separate lives
Not understanding how the other one feels
Two strangers with broken dreams
Where love once lived

Lost

Wandering
Wondering
Meaning to tell you how I feel
But too scared for your reaction
Don't want to hurt you
But I need to stop the pain
My heart is aching for peace
I want to leave you
But I don't know how
I feel lost with you
But I feel like I'd be lost without you
Maybe I am just lost in my own head

When Relationships End

Sometimes relationships start out wonderfully. Your head is in the clouds, the birds are chirping all of the time, and you are in love. Sometimes relationships are terrible from the beginning, and you are constantly looking for a way out of it. But no matter how it begins, when you decide to end it, it can be a nightmare.

Take my sister, for example. She was dating a psychotic woman. She was incapable of telling the truth, and it turned out, getting credit cards in my sister's name as well. So my sister confronted her. Then she decided that it was time to end the relationship. She packed all of her girlfriend's belongings while she was at work and then put them in her Jeep. When she got home, she just met her outside. She told her that she could not be in the relationship any longer and got back her apartment keys.

I almost felt sorry for the girl because she could be really sweet sometimes, but the fact was, she was a habitual liar with a propensity for identity theft and bouts of violence. So my sister was not giving her the chance to "act out." And I don't blame her. My sister has now had to have her locks changed and is looking into having her phone number changed because this girl keeps texting and calling her begging her to take her back.

Sisters

This is dedicated to my sister...probably the only person reading my blog.

They give you comfort
When you are down
Turn you rightside up
When your world is upside down
Make you laugh
When all you want to do is cry
Tell you the truth no matter what
Be the one to look you in the eye
Always have a shoulder to lean on
Always have a hand to hold
The yin to your yang
The other half of your soul
The best-friend
That you could ever have
To have a sister
I am so very glad

Watching TV again

I only made it for two days without television. I had to watch the finale of Top Chef. I was really hoping that Dale won. He was my favorite. Maybe I will run into him some day walking around the city. Then I can tell him what a great chef he is and that he should be proud that he got so far after not cooking for a year and a half.

So I have a new plan for my television viewing habits. I am going to limit myself to 5 hours of television per week, including weekends. Once I have reached that limit, I cannot watch anymore TV until the new week begins. That should not be hard as I am only addicted to a couple of shows, and Top Chef is over now. But no Monk marathons on USA or watching Family Guy and American Dad with my boyfriend on Sundays. Guess I will just have to go and do something a little more productive.

Growing Up

All I wanted when I was a child
Was to be grown up
I felt so trapped
No control over my life
At the mercy of a manic depressive mother
And a dad who never grew up
What do you do
When you live in hell?
The flames burning through your childhood
Charring your childlike innocence and confidence
And you have to grow up sooner than any child should
I had a sister to protect
And raise as best I could
Even as I raised myself
Leaving home full of guilt
For the ones I left behind
But I had to choose myself
I had to finish growing up
To become the adult
I always longed to be

Who Am I?

Drifting
Lost
Alone
Cold and afraid
I lost my way
Trying so hard to get to you
And now I have nothing
Nothing but this cold
And this stark emptiness
A shadow of who
I once was
And I am cold and afraid

My Cat Mickey

I love him very much, but he can be so mean sometimes. My sister brought over her kitten, Zoe, to see how they would get along and he just spent the whole time hissing and growling and puffing himself up. My sister calls him a grumpy, old man. He is only going to be 10 years old in January, but he definitely strikes me as the cane waving, denture smacking type. Then my boyfriend was watching his mom's dog for her for a couple of days while she was in the hospital for surgery, and Mickey was really having none of the dog. On the first day, I was laying on the couch with Susie and Mickey walked from the other side of the apartment, jumped on the couch, growled at Susie, and then ran back to the other side of the apartment to hide.

These are not the first incidents of hatred toward other animals either. Mickey has a long history of swatting dogs on the nose. He hates the vet's office too. That turns him into the devil cat as well. Not to mention the episode at the groomers (By the way-never, ever taking him to get groomed again. He made me promise).

But he is just as sweet as can be with me, my boyfriend and any person that comes to the apartment to visit. Loves being petted, having his belly rubbed, laying on the bed at night. He knows when I am upset because he comes running every time. It is just so amazing to see how much personality one cat can pack into a 12 pound body. Animals are truly wonderful to have in your life.

Day Two Without Television

I made it one day without watching TV. I did not watch The Hills. I did not really even think about it at all. I just went about my day as usual. I guess it is not so hard to do if you work 12 hours a day like I do (I have two jobs). You don't really have alot of time to sit down and watch TV anyway. Plus, I know that my shows are being recorded on the DVR, so I can watch them next week if I decide to watch TV again. I know it is cheating a bit, but at least I am trying. I got a huge pile of financial documents shredded last night instead of sitting mindlessly in front of the TV. Today is not going to be so hard either. Tomorrow, though, is going to be rough because the season finale of Top Chef is on. I want Dale to win, and it is going to be hard not knowing.

One Week Without Television

What might my life be like if I stopped watching television? What could I accomplish with those hours formerly spent on the couch? How will I be able to cope without my good friends from Grey's Anatomy and The Hills? Well, I am going to find out starting today, the first day of October 2007. I am going to abstain from television for one week. I am already getting palpitations just thinking about missing my shows. What is going to happen this week on Ugly Betty? Are Dr. Shepherd and Meredith really breaking up? It didn't really look like it at the end of the season premiere. YIKES! This is really going to be hard.

The Lost Generation

I feel like nothing ever works out the way that I planned it in my head. I went to college and got good grades, graduated with honors. Then I got dumped into the world with no clue as to how to live my life. I have been drifting ever since. I got myself into credit card trouble, I have had so many different jobs and so many career tracks, I have no idea where I am. I still really don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

There are only a few things that I know for sure. I know that I want to help people. I know that I want to do something creative-write and take photos. I know that I don't like office politics and the corporate world. But knowing these things and putting them into a plan of action are two very different things. I feel like I am starting over at 32. I would love to get an internship at a magazine or something where I could learn how to sharpen my skills in both writing and photography. But I don't have a degree in english or journalism, and I am 32 years old. People don't want to give you a chance. But I am hard-working, creative and I know what I want more than some college kid. Believe me-I know all about being the clueless college kid. None of those babies know anything about surviving in the real world.

College does not prepare you for the real world at all. It just postpones reality for four years. I personally think that college should be more like one year of taking career assessment tests and taking core classes. The second year should be figuring out your strengths and passions and beginning to formulate a career plan. The third year should be classes for your career and meeting with an advisor to keep you on track. The fourth year should be an internship in your chosen field. All four years you should also be required to take at least one class in financial planning and one class in business management/self-employment. This would prepare students for the real world.

Unfortunately, this is not what college students get out of school. You usually get a degree in something that you decide you don't even like and a pile of debt. Oh, and a swift kick in the rear on your way out. I feel like there are alot of us out there now. People with good intentions but no real direction. That and a world gone mad. We don't even know if there is going to be a world for us when we get old. We don't have any stability. Everything is up for grabs.

Office Politics

I will never understand why people take work so personally that they have to partake in office politics. Women are the worst, especially women bosses. I have only worked with one woman my entire career who did not think that I was trying to take her job. It is very demeaning to be treated badly when you do something well because the person you work for is intimidated by you. I will never understand this. Men do this too, but it is my experience that women are far worse. There are no mentors anymore because people are so busy looking out for themselves, worried that someone is going to stab them in the back.

I work at a not for profit too, which makes the office politics that much worse. Why would people working for the common goal of something noble and good ever need to stoop so low and partake in office politics? If everyone is there because they are passionate about the common goal, then isn't that all that matters? And why do women feel the need to demean other women instead of building them up and having a community of sisters in the workplace? I will never understand this. I have never felt the need to keep someone down to make myself feel better about my job. I believe that if you are good at your job you should not have to worry about someone else coming along and taking it.

Mentoring

I have been trying for a few years now to find an established photographer who will take me under their wing and show me the ropes. But I have never found anyone who will even send me an e-mail response, much less take the time to mentor me. Why are people so unwilling to help others learn their craft? Jealousy? Protecting their territory? Insecurity? Who knows. But I feel that if you are secure with yourself and your abilities, you will not mind helping someone else become better at their craft too.

American Dream Turned Nightmare

I can get worked up about many things. Unfairness is definitely one of those things that gets me hot under the collar. There are millions of homeowners getting bailed out by the US government because they thought that they were entitled to the "American Dream." What is the "American Dream" anyway? A house with a white picket fence, a car or two, a 40" flat-screen TV with surround sound, IKEA furniture, a Starbucks latte every morning, vacations every year, etc. These people bought a house with an adjustable rate mortgage (ARM). This means that every time the interest rate set by the Federal Reserve goes up, so does the ARM. So monthly payments climb with the interest rate. Generally, these mortgages are given to people with bad credit. People with bad credit are in general people who are not good at paying their bills on time or at all. This means you are a poor financial planner or you don't have a lot of money. Neither of these types of people should be buying houses. Buying a house is a privilege for people who have worked hard, saved money and want to make an investment in their future. It should not be an entitlement for everyone.

I do not own a house. I would very much like to one day. I am a hard worker, I am trying to save money, and I am working hard to have good credit. I don't owe on credit cards. I don't live outside of my means. So why should I end up paying for these stupid people who never should have bought a house in the first place? Not only did the Federal Reserve cut its interest rate to keep ARMs from settling at a much higher rate, HUD's Federal Housing Administration (FHA) will help an estimated 240,000 families avoid foreclosure by enhancing its refinancing program effective immediately. These families are getting government loans to refinance their homes.

What do I get? Well, I can rest assured that my taxes will end up bailing these people out in some way. Also, inflation is just around the corner due to the government pumping billions of dollars into the economy to stave off recession due to this subprime mortgage crisis and the reverberating effects it is having throughout the economy. Stupid people getting bad rates on a mortgage, then the unscrupulous companies that were selling these mortgages were packaging them up into high-risk securities and selling them to hedge funds. Hedge funds are high-risk investments (hence the term "hedge"-hedge your bet-invest your money at your own risk). None of these companies or investors should get bailed out either. Why should I have to pay for it? Why should anyone have to pay for someone else's mistakes?

The reason this country is screwed right now is because not everyone is entitled to the "American Dream." No one is saving. Savings in this country was at -1% in 2006. The average American household owes $7,300 in credit card debt. And this country is more debt-dependent than ever before-with a total debt of over $48 trillion dollars, or $161,287 per each and every woman, man and child. Check out America's Total Debt Report for some scary figures.

The American Nightmare is upon us. I think that doom and gloom for the US economy is looming large. We have been living on credit for far too long in this country (individuals and the US government), and the bills are going to start coming due. People are going to start losing their shirts along with their homes.

A Terrible Way to Begin the Day

I know that driving your car everywhere is bad for the environment and bad for your waistline too. But that does not mean I do not understand why people would rather drive than take public transportation to work, for instance. I take the train to work every morning, and it is a terrible way to start the day. Having to stand and get tossed around every time the train stops, being shoved against strangers, having their bags hitting your shoulders, legs, etc. It tests my meditation skills to the limit. Deep breathing and intense concentration barely keep me from screaming and wondering why I do this to myself each and every work day.

I also understand why people like to have a car to run errands. Once again, taking public transportation to the grocery store, to pick up cat food, to a wedding, can be time-consuming and irritating. Imagine your arms full of bags and nowhere to sit. Or standing on the train in high heels. Or just waiting for the train or bus. If you have a car you just get in and go whenever you feel like it. Then you put your groceries, heavy bag of catfood, whatever you have bought in the backseat or trunk and go home. Easy.

So I know why people are attached to their cars. I get it. It makes sense to me, and I envy those who have one.

Being Healthy is Hard Work

I keep reading articles that say people cannot help being obese. I am not a dietician, a nutritionist or any sort of professional when it comes to nutrition and diet. But I will tell you from experience that I believe that 95% of people who are overweight/obese can help their condition. I found myself seriously overweight not too long ago. I weighed around 190 lbs. My normal weight is around 155 lbs. And I had to work really hard to lose that excess weight.

I have to watch what I eat very closely. I fill up on whole grains, vegetables and fruit. I eat single servings of meat-which is about the size of a deck of cards. I also eat lowfat or no-fat cheeses, drink skim milk, and I don't drink soda or juice. Water is my beverage of choice because it is great for you and has zero calories. I also seriously cut back on my alcohol consumption. I also walk everywhere that I can. Sitting on the couch watching TV does not burn calories. I eat snacks, but I eat things like Luna bars or a serving of peanuts. I don't deprive myself, either. There are so many lowfat snacks and desserts out now that taste great and come in single-size portions that it is okay to indulge every now and then. Also, I don't eat out while I am at work. I bring my lunch to work-that is the best way to ensure that I get a healthy, balanced meal.

It is hard work being healthy-it takes vigilance and dedication and a certain amount of sacrifice, but anything you really want out of life is worth the hard work.

College Students Beware of Credit Cards

I keep reading about how credit card companies use sneaky and underhanded tactics to lure customers and then squeeze as much money as they can out of them. Double billing, high interest rates, annual fees, late fees and penalties, using your credit history against you, etc. are some of the many ways credit card companies get you.

Especially vulnerable are college students. They walk on to campus and are almost immediately bombarded with credit card offers. I know that I was accosted in the bookstore while I was buying my books. By the end of my sophomore year, I had four credit cards. I ended up $10,000 in the hole by the time I graduated. I was $13,000 in the hole one year after graduation. I ended up getting help from a Consumer Credit Counseling service to lower my interest rates and consolidate my cards into one monthly payment.

I have now been debt free for a few years now, but I wonder how many people out there wish that their respective schools would have kept a reign on the credit card companies and even offered some kind of financial management class. If you want to read more, check out this article in Business Week.

Long Time Coming

It has been a long time since I posted. I have been very busy. I got a part-time job as a Website Assistant at a not for profit. I am really enjoying working there. I get to write, edit, proofread...I get to use my abilities. It is nice after so many years of not doing what I want to do. Life is too short to take anything for granted. I realize this more and more each day...each moment is precious. It is better to try and fail than never to have tried at all. Go after what you want because you just may get it with hard work, determination and confidence in yourself and your abilities. I think it is so important to have a job that uses your abilities and talents, where people appreciate you, and if you get to do something good for the world on top of it, so much the better.

You reap what you sow

This is definitely true. We only get as good as we give. We only get what we deserve. Work hard. Treat people fairly and with respect. And be kind and fair to yourself. Learn how to let go and relax. Learn how to breathe. Learn how to be. This is one of the hardest things to do-be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes. Take wrong turns. Say the wrong things. Lash out. But as long as you are aware of your mistakes and can learn from them, forgive yourself and move on, then that is the best that you can do.

I am a tree

I am a Willow
Long
Tall
Slender
I will bend
With the breeze
I will bow
To the wind
But I will not
Break
My roots are buried
Deep
Deeply rooted to the ground
I am
While my head is held high

Journey Home

I feel so small
So small that you tower over me
The world towers over me
I am an ant in a jungle
Trying to scurry along the path
While not getting stepped on
But I am so tired
I am so tired now
Every few steps feel like an eternity has passed
And taking the next step seems impossible
I feel like I am never going to make it
And I am so scared
I really wanted to make it home
It feels close
And then it pulls away
There is the sun
Rising over the mountaintop
If I climb that mountain
Will I feel its warmth on my skin?
Will it warm my heart?
I feel so cold
Like my soul is dying
And I cannot seem
To ever stop crying
And I am so tired
I really wanted to make it home

The Wheel of Hatred

Losing your grip
On reality
You fall victim to unkindness
Turning from goodness
To hatred
You speak the unkind word
Do the unkind deed
That you can never undo
And the wheel of hatred
Rolls on
Ruining someone's day
Ruining someone's life
Hating because you do not agree with what they say
Or think
Hating because they look different
Speak differently
Believe in a different God
And the wheel of hatred rolls on
Ruining lives
Playing a game
Where the loser might die
But the "winner" loses their soul
Their humanity
Hatred will consume your spirit
And leave an empty shell
When the wheel of hatred
Rolls your way
Put your foot down
Stop it in its tracks
And make a decision
To be truly human

Lonely

I feel so alone right now. Nothing in my life is going well. I am completely responsible, but I don't know how to get myself out of this mess. My job is killing me from the inside out. I need to get out of this situation soon before my head explodes. I feel like no one can help me. I feel like I am lost in a forest, and I cannot see the sun. It is really dark under the canopy of trees and I do not know which direction to go to get out. I really want out of the forest. I love trees and all, but I am really beginning to feel suffocated. I cannot breathe. I have to see the sun soon. I don't ever remember feeling this lost before. I usually have some idea of which direction to take my life, but I have no clue right now. My vision is clouded. I wish life could be simpler just once. Why does it always have to be so difficult? I am tired. I need a life break. I need to stop time for a few months and unwind.

Disgust

I have not posted in awhile. First, no one is reading my blog anyway, so who cares, right? Secondly, I have come to the conclusion that most people are close-minded narcissists. I really am so disgusted with what is going on in the world right now.

The US government is a total sham and most of the people in this country are ignorant and rude. We are destroying the environment with reckless abandon, women and homosexuals and minorities do not have equal rights in this country, the poor and uneducated in this country are f***ked, and yet we feel the need to go out and tell the rest of the world how great we are and invade other countries and place sham democratic governments there that don't give everyone equal rights either. And we wonder why the people there are upset about us being there. Gee...I wonder? And yet we still try to tell the rest of the world what to do like we set any kind of an example for anyone. We are the world bully, but we aren't even a very good one because people can see through the threat now and are standing up to us.

But the rest of the world needs to step up to the plate as well. If everyone got together and said hey, we are going to stop the pollution, stop the spread of disease, end hunger, end poverty and stop fighting with our neighbors just because they have a different religion or are different from us, then we could put an end to all of the nonsense going on right now. The human race is a damn virus on the planet, and it is only a matter of time before Mother Nature kicks us the f**k off. And we would certainly deserve it.

And don't even get me started on organized religion. It is the biggest scam of all. It is an excuse to hate everyone who does not exactly talk and act and think like you and then use "righteousness" to condemn them for being ever so slightly different. Jesus, God, Muhammed, Buddha...whomever you believe in, would be very ashamed of the way religion has been twisted and is used simply as a weapon of hate and oppression. I could go on and on but I am done for the time being. I am just trying to live my life with an open mind and tolerance and compassion and help as many people as I can and do as much for the environment as I can. I wish everyone could step back and realize the pain that we cause by being intolerant, ignorant, narcissistic and holier than thou.

Inspirational Quotes

"One instant of total awareness is one instant of perfect freedom and enlightenment."-The Wisdom Deity, Manjusri

"All are architects of fate, working in these walls of time."-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"If one advances confidently in the directions of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet success unimagined in common hours."-Henry David Thoreau

"Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact."-William James

Karma and Living Your Life in the Moment

Karma: Every cause has an effect, and every effect has a cause.

Every moment, you have the power to make new karma. According to the book, Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das, "The law of karma spells out very meticulously that everything has its implications; every thought, word, and deed has an effect."

Everything that we say, do or think will impact our lives. Each moment, you have the chance to change your future. When you change, your future changes as well. This is what karma is-you are in control of your destiny.

Be aware of each and every moment. Do not walk around like a zombie. Be alive and in each moment. No matter what you believe happens when we die, it is an inevitable fact that we are all going to face. I would rather live each moment fully, graciously, gratefully and harmoniously with all sentient beings and nature, and have no regrets when my time comes to pass from this world.

Women and Having Babies

I have a confession to make. I am a woman who does not want to have children. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to bear a child. Not even holding other people's babies makes me want to have one of my own. I really don't even want to hold other people's babies for that matter, but I am not going to be rude.

And I am finding that there are other women out there who feel like I do. We are not heartless or cruel people. I am actually a very nice person. I give to charity, I care about the environment, I have a cat (I had two cats until December of last year) who I love with all of my heart and would do anything for, but I just don't want children.

I don't want the enormous responsibility of raising a child into a well-adjusted, decent human being. It is an enormous amount of responsibility that I know I am not equipped for. I feel like I can barely take care of myself sometimes. And I truly feel like it is the right decision for me. And I am tired of everyone assuming that just because I am a woman I should have children, that I should want to have children, that it is just the way it should be.

These days, a woman has a choice what she does with her body. Having children is a huge decision and a responsibilty that should not be taken lightly. It is not my right to have children. I should want to have children. I should be ready. All women should have this choice and make this choice. Children are not bargaining chips or pets or accessories or toys. They are small human beings that need to be nutured and loved and molded into big human beings. I am a woman, and I do not want to have children. I think it is the most selfless decision that I have ever made.

Live Each Day With Childlike Wonder and Enthusiasm

I have really been contemplating how to live my life more harmoniously. How to maximize my happiness from moment to moment, day to day. I am reading a really good book now titled Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das. In his book, he gives some exercises that you can do to incorporate Dharma with your daily life. Dharma is truth, reality, the spiritual way, the path to enlightenment.

Breathe and smile. Relax. Take a moment to let go, and just be. Enjoy it.

Do standing meditation, while waiting in line for a movie or bus or train. Just stand there, breathe, and awaken.

Whenever you sit down or stand up, stop and appreciate a moment of change, of freedom.

Whenever you cross a threshold, go through a doorway, or enter a room, see it as entering a temple and do so reverently.

Walk barefoot in the grass or on a thick carpet and feel fully each sensation with your toes and soles.

Walk on the edge of a beach, where the water meets the sand, with your eyes closed, feeling your way along, totally vigilant and attentive.

Walk slowly upon crunchy snow or autumn leaves, attending to the crackle of each step.

Sing, chant or pray until you totally forget and lose yourself, then stop and drop into a moment of inexpressible isness, completely beyond concepts, stories, and strategies.

Experience simple, repetitive work like sewing, embroidering, or even washing dishes as meditation in action, focusing totally on the moment in hand and nothing else.

Try doing manual labor in a sacred manner, just doing what you are doing as if it is the ultimate divine service, for it is.

When eating, chew each mouthful fifty or one hundred times, getting the most out of the food as well as being further nourished by the richness of each moment.

Try chewing one single raisin for several minutes and experiencing everything you can about it.

Before speaking, notice what motivates your words.

Set a beeper on your watch or alarm clock to ring every hour on the hour, reminding you to wake up and appreciate the miracle of every moment. Call yourself by name and say, "Wake up!"

Recognize the Buddha-light shining in everyone and everything and treat others accordingly.

Enjoy the indescribable joy and peace of meditation.

Live your life. Find the things that make time stop for you. For me it is riding my bike, reading a good book, taking pictures. I am in the moment, living the moment.

Live your life with childlike innocence, wonder and enthusiasm. See the world for what it is-a big, beautiful, magical place full of mystery and promise.

There is one more thing I want to leave you with. There is this game I like to play called the elevator game. When you are standing at a bank of elevators waiting, see if you can guess which one is going to come. It is a good exercise of being in the moment and enjoying it. And I found out today from a woman I happened to be on an elevator with that her four year old son likes to play the elevator game and is uncannily good at it.

Inspiring Quotes

"Just keep going. Everybody gets better if they keep at it."-Ted Williams

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."-Eleanor Roosevelt.

"It takes a person who is wide awake to make his dreams come true."-Roger Ward Babson

Finding Inner Peace in a World Full of Turmoil

This was the title of a public talk that the Dalai Lama recently gave, and I was fortunate enough to get tickets to hear his words of wisdom. He would be the first to tell you that he is just an ordinary human being like you and me, but I assure you, he is much more than that.

In order to find peace and happiness in your life, you must learn to live with complete awareness of your mental state. And ultimately, you must always remember that we are all part of the same community (humanity) and no matter how much you feel like you have been wronged by someone, remember that we all desire the same thing from life-contentment. All sentient beings share the desire for a happy life. We must always remember this and not be controlled by our emotions. Anger, fear and jealousy keep you from achieving true inner peace.

In the end, we are responsible for our thoughts and emotions. You can only achieve inner peace by working through your negative emotions and cultivating the postive emotions of compassion, love and hope.

"When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us. In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher."-His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet

Women and the Illusion of Equality

Equal Rights Amendment: Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.

Did you know that this was never ratified? It is not a Constitutional Amendment. It has only been ratified by 35 states. It still needs 3 more before it could become an Amendment. We do not have equal rights under the United States Constitution.

According to a recent blurb in the May 7, 2007 issue of Time Magazine, women with college degrees still only make on average 70% of what their male counterparts make. For doing the exact same job, women are paid 30% less than men. And the gap just widens over time. Louisiana has the largest disparity of 64%, while West Virginia has the smallest with 89%.
Let's put a dollar amount on that. Let's say a man makes $35,000 annually for being a Customer Service Representative. Well, a woman doing that exact same job will only be making $24,500 annually. Do you have any idea what that means over her lifetime? How much less money she has to invest? To save for retirement? What that means if she is the sole breadwinner for a family (ie. divorcee, widow, single mother)?

Look at all the nasty comments that people are making about Hillary Clinton. She is an intelligent, ambitious, strong woman who is perfectly capable of being the President of the United States. I think she is one of the most qualified people running for 2008. But she is reviled by so many people. Because she is a woman.

We claim to be so righteous in this country, telling other countries that they should want to be like us. But the truth is, we are not all equal in the United States either. If you are a woman, a minority or a homosexual, you are not equal. You have to obey all of the same laws and pay all of the same taxes, but you are not afforded all of the Constitutional rights. How is this fair?

Simple Things You Can Do to Increase Your Happiness

There are some very simple things you can do today to increase your happiness.

1) Stop trying to be perfect. I was guilty of this for a very long time. I thought that everything I did had to be perfect. But I realized that I was not getting anything accomplished, and I was very unhappy. Allow yourself to be human. Imperfect. Flawed.

2) Stop watching too much television. I think that my DVR is a wonderful thing. Skipping commercials is great. However, I still only watch less than four hours of tv per week. You are missing out on your own life when you are watching tv.

3) Stop eating crappy food. Believe me, more fruits and veggies means more happiness. Read labels. If you cannot pronounce the ingredients in your food, do you really want to put that in your body?

4) Live within your means. Don't spend more than you make. Credit cards are your enemy. Do you really need to keep up with the Joneses? Does it really make you happy? Having money in my savings account makes me happy.

5) Be kind to others. When you do nice things for others, it makes you happy. No matter how busy you think you are, it is not an excuse for being rude to others. Treating everyone with respect and dignity will enrich your life more than any dollar amount could.

6) Live simply and quietly. When you stop running the rat race, you will be much happier. Take the time to live your life on your terms. Breathe. Relax. Do things that you want to do and have meaning for you.

What Would You Do If Failure Were Not An Option?

This is an interesting question that we should all ask ourselves. If you could not fail, what would you do with your life? What are your life goals? I want to be my own boss, so I am going to make a living from writing and photography. I want to travel, so I am going to see as much of this beautiful world as I can. I want to live in San Francisco, CA, so I am going to leave my life here in the midwest behind to move there. I am going to retire in Italy some day, so I need to save my money for my Italian villa. I want to help people, so I am going to be the best person that I can be and give of myself to others. I want to live a simple life. I never want to get caught up in the game of trying to acquire as many things as I can. I am only a very small part of the universe, and I want to do whatever I can to leave it a better place for having me in it.

Narcissism

Exreme self-centeredness is what caused Cho Seung-Hui to kill 32 people, along with himself, on the Virginia Tech campus. And I don't want to give him anymore time in the spotlight than he has already had. But I do want to talk about a troubling trend I see in this culture of materialism that I see all over the world. We are becoming a society of narcissists. We are all so busy trying to make money and keep up with the Joneses, we have all forgot that we are human beings, not money-making robots. In a world where people like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Donald Trump are looked upon like role models, instead of for what they really are-people desperate for fame and fortune and little else, we are in real trouble. Where are the people who serve in the Peace Corps, the people who give of their time and money every day to help others, the people who sacrifice of themselves to make the world a better place for everyone? Those are the people that I want to read about in magazines and hear about on the news. This world would be a much better place if we all lived by the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." If each and every person gave more thought to the plight of other human beings and cared about making this a pleasant place for everyone, this would be better than anything that money could buy. You just cannot buy the kind of happiness you get from being a compassionate, caring individual.

Be A Globally Sensitive Citizen

Everything we do here in the United States has an effect on the environment that not only we rely on but 6 Billion people and counting rely on for things like food, water, breathing and living. Every day that we drive to work in our giant, gas-guzzling cars, live in 10 room, 3,000 square foot homes that encroach on the forests and the wildlife, own a bunch of crap that we don't need or even use, we are destroying the environment for everyone, not just for ourselves. Every day that we don't bother to recycle, don't bother to trade our incandescent lightbulbs for compact fluorescent lightbulbs (CFLs), don't turn off our computers, don't buy locally grown fruits and vegetables, don't give to environmentally friendly causes, every day that we don't do something, someone in the world is suffering. Their home gets flooded by the nearby river, their crops won't grow because of the drought, they cannot leave their homes because they don't have clean air to breathe. Every week, there is a coal-fired power plant built in China. Their air is so polluted the government is going to ban driving during the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.

Along with outsourcing our jobs and manufacturing capabilities, we have also been outsourcing our pollution. So if we emit 25% of the carbon into the atmosphere from the United States, imagine what we are responsible for emitting from Canada, Mexico, China, etc.? Being a Globally Sensitive Citizen means that you realize your actions have consequences for the environment that we all share and rely on, and that each and every day you try to be more a part of the solution than the problem.

April 22nd is Earth Day

I truly believe that every day should be Earth Day, but I feel like I am in the minority at times. A lot of people do not want to take global warming seriously, and to them I would say that it seems more responsible to take it seriously. Even if it is not as catastrophic as some scientists make it out to be, don't we have a responsibilty to the planet, to other species, to future generations, to step up and clean up the mess that we have made. Especially in the United States.

We are responsible for 25% of the world's CO2 emitted into the atmosphere, yet our government does not want to regulate businesses. Yet dozens of states are scrambling to pass their own CO2 reduction legislation. And recently, dozens of businesses sent a letter to the President asking him to regulate CO2 emissions. Even the businesses are waking up to the problem and their responsibilities.

What can we as individuals do to help? It is the little things that can add up to make a big difference. I do not own a car (never have and probably never will). I live near public transportation, and I walk a lot too. On the rare occasion when I needed a car, I simply rented one. I recycle at home and at work. I do not use paper towels to dry my hands in public restrooms (I air dry or jean dry). I turn off the lights when I am not in the room. I turn off my computer when I am not using it. I reuse plastic bags and containers. I shop at the farmer's markets (to save the gas that is used to truck or fly food around the country/world). I pay my bills online. I give to the NPCA (National Parks Conservation Association), because our National Parks are our national treasure. You can find just about any environmental charity you might be interested in giving to at www.networkforgood.org.
Remember to reduce, reuse and recycle, and make every day an Earth Day.

Spring Cleaning

Ok, it is officially Spring. I know some of us have been waiting for this longer than others-us in the midwest and those of you in the northeast. And with the new beginning for Mother nature comes a chance for all of us to have a new beginning.

So I have decided to clean out my life. I am decluttering and simplifying my existence. I have been exercising a great deal of mental and physical discipline for the past few months (I have lost 20 pounds), so I am doing well there.

Then there is fiscal discipline, which seems way harder to me than losing weight. I actually like eating healthy and exercising, but not buying a grande nonfat latte with an extra shot of espresso from Starbucks once or twice is a week is extremely difficult. However, I have been able to save money since I stopped mindlessly spending it.

The hardest thing ever, though, is having material discipline. And by that, I mean getting rid of 95% of the things you own. I am taking a good, hard look at my possessions. I am shredding on an almost daily basis, I am recycling tons of old papers and magazines, I am throwing things away without mercy. If it was in a box in my closet, then I no longer need it. If it was something that I had forgotten I had, I obviously no longer need it. If it once held sentimental value but no longer does, I do not need it. If it is a piece of clothing that I have not worn in months or even years, I do not need it. If it is a CD or movie that I have not listened to or watched in ages, I do not need it. Books are read only once (for the most part), so they can go too. Of course, I am going to sell and give away most of these things to do my part for the environment.

I feel lighter, freer, more positive about life because I feel more in control of myself and my environment. Use your new beginning wisely.

The 15 Questions to Ask a Future Mate

Some questions to ask someone you just met and are considering for a long-term relationship. You can ask some or all of these questions, or use them as a springboard to come up with some questions of your own.

1) What would you do for your mom on Mother's Day?
2) What is your dream car and why?
3) What is the one thing you absolutely need to do before you die?
4) What is the one thing that you are proudest of accomplishing?
5) What is the best gift you ever received/accepted and why?
6) Do you like animals? Do you have pets?
7) What is your dream job?
8) Have you ever been married? If so, how many times and why did it end?
9) How close are you to your family?
10) What is your favorite movie?
11) What is your favorite song?
12) Do you like to try different types of cuisines?
13) Do you like to travel? If you have never traveled, do you want to?
14) What was your major in college and why?
15) What pair of shoes do you wear the most and why?

10 Things Your Boyfriend Can Do For You

There are so many things that I want to say about boyfriends. The first thing I want to post is the top ten things that take 10 minutes or less a man can do for his woman:

1) Put down the toilet seat
2 Change the toilet paper roll (you have to put it on the roll.)
3) Pick the dirty clothes up off the floor
4) Put dirty clothes in the hamper (aka: the laundry)
5) Make the bed
6) Put dirty dishes in the sink
7) Wash the dirty dishes
8) Turn off the light when you leave a room
9) Wash the mirror and sink of your shave cream and toothpaste residue
10) Hand your woman the remote control

Inspiring Quote

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."-Margaret Mead

Inspiring TV and seeing the world

There is a good show on the Travel Channel called 1,000 Places to See Before You Die. It is on Thursdays at 8 pm CST. It is a one hour program. This newlywed couple is traveling to places like Hawaii, Alaska, Brazil. I love travel programs. The cheapest way to see the world is through travel programs. You get a better understanding of the world that we live in, get a glimpse of different ways of life and different cultures. The world is such a beautiful place, and everyone should get to travel in their lifetime. It will give you a new perspective on life. It will inspire you.

I studied abroad for one semester in Rome, Italy, and I was able to travel around Italy and other European countries. It changed me and changed my life. There is nothing more liberating than going wherever you want, whenever you want, with only a guidebook, passport, and money. I would go to cities and wander around with only a map and a vague plan. There is no better way to learn about yourself and to meet new and interesting people than to travel. It expands your view of the world, helps you see things in a new way.

Inspiring Movies

These movies cheer me up no matter how sad or depressed I might have been before.

Field of Dreams
Legally Blonde
Wedding Singer
While You Were Sleeping
Big
Dirty Dancing
Pretty Woman
50 First Dates
Ever After
Sliding Doors

These movies share the common theme that no matter what life may throw at you, if you stay true to yourself, follow your heart and strive after your dreams, you can have a fulfilling and happy life.

Inspiring Books

These books changed my life in a profound and positive way.

Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain by Sharon Begley. One word to know from this book-neuroplasticity. It is the ability to change your brain's structures and functions in a fundamental way throughout life. The conscious act of thinking about one's thoughts in a different way changes the very brain circuits that do that thinking. Such willfully induced brain changes require focus, training and effort. Changes come from within.

Authentic Happiness by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D. The founder of the branch of Psychology known as Positive Psychology, he explains the scientific evidence that is being discovered that we can increasse our happiness set point by taking concrete steps in our lives. And he explains in great detail how to go about increasing your happiness set point, even including exercises to complete and surveys to gauge certain aspects of your personality. The website that goes along with the book is really great too (www.authentichappiness.org).

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. This book was written before Positive Psychology was born. It is has a religious overtone, but it is full of practical advice for leading a more fulfilling, happy life through positive thinking. It is also full of useful exercises and uplifting ancedotes about people who changed their lives through positive thinking.

These are just a few of the books that have inspired me over the years. I actually read all three of these books in the past year. They inspired me to think more positively, and as a result, I have been happier and more positive things have come to pass.

Men and cleaning the house

Men, those divine creatures that we love so much...yet at the same time want to throttle too. I love my boyfriend dearly. But why can't he help clean the house? Why doesn't he know how to wash dishes or make the bed? Why must clothes lie all over the house when they could just as easily lie in the hamper in the laundry room? It is frustrating when we get home from work and I have an hour of house cleaning to do but my boyfriend is already on the couch with his feet up.

I want to live in a clean house. It is very important to me. Why does he give me a hard time when I ask him to do something small like make the bed or wash the dishes or take out the trash? A little help would go a long way in reducing the amount of nagging that I do. We women nag because it is the last resort in getting our men to do something that we have politely asked them to do ten times. My happiness level would soar if my boyfriend would help me out around the house, thereby allowing me more free time to relax and do the things that I want to do.

World Poverty and Giving Back

I just got back from the grocery store a few hours ago, and I bought some sushi and some South African Chardonnay, among other things. And I felt really lucky that I could go grocery shopping and not have to worry about where the money was coming from. I am not by any means wealthy, but I do have some money. I have a nice apartment, I have a decent job that provides health and dental insurance, I have a 401(k), I have a little savings, I am not in debt (unless you count my student loans, which I don't). I have a cat, and after the recall nightmare, I am able to buy him natual cat food (ie. expensive cat food). And I am lucky, really lucky for these blessings in my life.

I have not felt sorry for myself since I did some research on world poverty. One day at work I saw a blurb on the front page of the newspaper that said something about the most expensive handbag in the world. I admit that I was curious and turned to the page with this handbag. The Louis Vuitton Patchwork handbag that costs $45,352 US dollars. And it is the ugliest creation that I have ever seen. It looks like someone dug it out of the garbage. I was immediately disgusted by how shallow and materialistic we are as a society. It is a tragic commentary on the times that the handbag is sold out. There is a waiting list a mile long, meanwhile people are starving all over the world.

But I wondered, how many people could you help with that $45,352? In India, there are 36 Billionaires, but 80% of Indians live on less than $2 per day, and India has the world's largest number of poor people. As of 2005, there were 691 US-dollar Billionaires and 8.7 million US-dollar Millionaires worldwide. But nearly 3 billion people live on less than $2 per day. So how many people could you help for the price of that handbag? 22,676 people could be given $2 each. If every one of those absurdly wealthy people gave even 1% of their income to the needy of the world, would there be anyone still in need? I think this world is need of more giving, more compassion, more love towards our fellow human beings. So many people are living in conditions that we cannot even imagine. Give a liitle something today.

Here are two to start out:
www.kiva.org Kiva allows you to lend to a specfic entrepreneur in the developing world, thereby empowering them to pull themselves out of poverty (this is called microlending). Muhammad Yunus won the Noble Peace Prize in 2006 for his pioneering work on microlending.
www.heifer.org Heifer Project International helps impoverished families worldwide become more self-reliant through the gift of livestock and training in their care.

Giving is not only the right thing to do, but it feels good to do it too.

Inspiring Songs

These are songs that personally inspired me, made me want to be a better person, made me happier, made me want to live a better life, gave me hope.

"Learning to Fly"-Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
"Beautiful Day"-U2
"This is Your Night"-Amber
"Walking on Sunshine"-Katrina and the Waves
"Ray of Light"-Madonna
"Lose Yourself"-Eminem
"Feel Good Inc."-Gorillaz
"What You Waiting For?"-Gwen Stefani
"It's My Life"-No Doubt (a good remake of a song from the 80's)
"Regret"-New Order
"Storms In Africa"-Enya

Financial Health

I feel like this is so important. Your financial health can affect your physical and mental health. Believe me, I am speaking from experience. A few years out of college, I was over $13,000 in the hole on credit cards and owed more than that in student loans. I owed more than I made in a year. Pathetic and scary at the same time. I had to claw my way out of the dark hole of debt, and I will tell you how: with hard work and sacrifice. I sought help from a credit counseling agency and got on a debt management plan. Beware of the terms-if I had not paid more than the minimum every month, I might still be in credit card debt. No matter what, whether you choose to do it yourself or seek financial help, always pay more than the minimum payment! Pay those cards off one by one, starting with the card with the highest percentage rate. Work your way down the line. Put the cards away. Do not use credit-ever-unless you need it for business purposes or an extreme emergency. A flat screen tv does not equal an emergency.

Trying to keep up with the Joneses (ie. living above your means) is not a good way to live and will make you a slave to material possessions and credit. Do not eat out or buy coffee everyday-not only can you save hundreds a month, but you will be much healthier too. Save a little bit of money every month for emergencies or even for something that you want to buy so you do not have to rely on credit. And contribute to your 401(k) plan at work, even if it is just 1% at first. It is taken out before your income is taxed, and you get to claim your contributions when you file your income taxes each year, which puts you in the black with the IRS.

Being financially healthy requires a lot of work and sacrifice, but it is worth it. I am credit card debt free, and I have paid down my student loans significantly. I feel lighter because I do not have a debt monkey sitting on my back, stressing me out and depressing me. I will not be a slave to debt!

Having a Healthy Weight

This has definitely been a demon for most of my life. It all began in high school, when I became anorexic. Then after that, college, where I gained more than the "freshman fifteen" because I ate pretty much whatever I wanted and drank a lot of alcohol. Then I graduated and lived on my own, losing weight again (I really couldn't afford groceries). After I got my first real job, I started eating terrible again and drinking heavily, so I gained weight. Joined a gym, lost weight. Stopped going to the gym, gained weight. Back and forth. Dated a man for almost two years who did not care what he ate, gained a lot of weight. Dumped man. Started walking to work and eating healthy. Lost weight. Dating a man now who cares not one bit what he puts in his mouth. Gained weight. Joined a gym. Lost weight. Stopped going to the gym. Gained it right back. I am currently down 14 pounds (and counting) from my weight a year and a half ago, and I have never felt better.

I will share with you why it is working this time and how I am going to keep it off. I write down every single thing that I eat on a sheet of paper, and I keep track of calories. I go by the mantra that "you are what you eat." Keeping track of what I eat makes me think twice before I needlessly shove that candybar, donut, bag of chips into my mouth. I measure out servings/look on the back of products for serving sizes. It is eye-opening that serving sizes are so much smaller in actuality than we think they are. I do not drink a lot of alcohol anymore. I eat a lot of bad food when I am inebriated. Plus, alcoholic drinks can have a lot of calories too. I do not drink juice or soda. I do not put sugar in my coffee or tea. I drink only skim milk and lots of water. I eat a lot of vegetables and fruit. I do not eat out very often. Eating out is a diet disaster. You have no control over what goes into your food. I do not eat what my boyfriend eats. We buy our own groceries. I will even leave the room if he is eating something that is tempting me, and I will go and make myself a cup of hot tea. Tea helps calm my stomach when I feel hungry. I do not eat late at night. On the rare occasion when I do, I limit the calories to around 400 and eat foods that are low in fat. I do not deprive myself. If I feel like having a slice of pizza, I will eat one and adjust my caloric intake accordingly. I eat "bad" foods in moderation. I go out of my way to get more physical activity. I will walk wherever I can, and I take the stairs whenever possible. And I ride my bicycle. I am seeing the results and feeling the results every day. I look better and feel better. I am calmer and happier and feel more in control of my life. Once I made up my mind to treat my body better, the rest came naturally.

Riding a Bicycle

This past Christmas, I received a bicycle as a gift. It is beautiful. It is curvy and pink (pink is my favorite color) and is called Athena V. It is only the second bicycle I have ever owned. The first was also pink and called Rose, and I got it for my birthday. So well over a decade and a half later I found myself riding a bike for the first time...again. And it is so exhilarating. And you really don't forget how to ride. I was afraid I would. I am a bit of a klutz, so I do wear a helmet (pink as well), but I am actually pretty good. It has made me feel like a kid again, remembering when I first learned how to ride. My dad would put me on my bike and push me down the sidewalk. It was either pedal and learn how to stay upright fast or crash and burn. I was fearless as a kid. Riding my bicycle now, I am beginning to regain some of that childlike confidence, enthusiasm and fearlessness.

Life Is a Choose Your Own Adventure Book

Life is full of choices. Each and every day you will make decisions that will either take you this way or that way. We are responsible for what we do, what we say, how we act, how we conduct ourselves moment by moment. It is actually very exciting and daunting at the same time. Feel the power that you have. The great thing about it is that it is like those Choose Your Own Adventure books. If you do not like the outcome of one choice, simply flip back to the choices and make another one. It is not easy, but nothing is ever fixed in life until the day that you die. You are never trapped. You can try and try again.

I really feel like this right now. I took a turn down a path, and frankly, I am not fond of the scenery. So I am looking for another path. I keep my senses alert because when I come upon the path I want to try next, I will be ready. And just because I want to try a new path, does not mean that I wasted my time on this one. Wrong turns can teach you a lot about yourself-how you handle adversity, disappointment, negativity. I gained a great deal of strength and insight on this path. I am proud of the person that I am today. Learn from your mistakes and failures because that knowledge will guide you on the path to success.

The Golden Rule

I do not believe that people are taught the Golden Rule anymore. The Golden Rule is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It is a good way to live your life. It forces you to remember that there are other people besides yourself and that you should consider their feelings. In a world of 6 billion people and counting, if we cannot learn to live in harmony with each other, with other animals, with nature, then there is no hope for the future. I find that when I live my life with respect for others and my surroundings, I am happier, more content with life.

Make a Bad Day Go Away

Sometimes you get up on the wrong side of the bed, and things just go downhill from there. But I will tell you something...if you learn to put the brakes on a bad day, you can make it go away. One thing I will do is take very deep breaths. I will take as many as I need to feel my body calm down. Think about a happy memory and force a smile onto your face. Get up and go for a walk. If you are at home, that could simply mean walking away from whatever you are doing. But even if you are at work, get up and walk around. I personally tell my coworkers that I am going to get coffee. This works threefold. One, other people inevitably want coffee too, so I am actually running an office errand. Two, I am getting out of the office and getting the walk I needed to clear my head. Three, I love coffee, so I am actually treating myself. Or simply think about all of the things that you are grateful for, all of the good things in your life. I think about all of the wonderful people in my life and about all of the cool things that I have done thus far. Next thing you know, your bad day is gone.

What Your Pets Teach You About Life

It has been a hard couple of months in our household. One of my cats passed in December, and my boyfriend's dog just passed last night. He had cancer, but it was totally unexpected for us. We got home last night, and one thing after another happened until he took his last breath right there in front of our eyes. And I am very sad, but it made me realize how precious life is. So I wanted to share what I learned from my pets about life.

1) Love unconditionally-pets are so full of love for you, and it does not matter what you do, they love you as much today as they did yesterday. They do not hold grudges or keep score.

2) Always ask for what you want-it does not matter how many times you may tell them "no" about a certain food or that you are too tired to play or whatever, they will look at you with those eyes, cry, paw at you, simply wear you down until you give in.

3) Follow your instincts-about people, about situations, about anything. Animals just "know" what is going on. My other cat knew that the dog was going to pass, but we did not see the signs ourselves.

4) Live your life to the fullest-Sleep when you want to sleep, play when you want to play, be who you are and know that people will love you. We should all take more time to do the things that we want to do. In a hectic world, it is easy to get caught up in the rat race. But in the end, the only thing that really matters is that you lived a life full of love.

Love What You Do For a Living

This is one of the biggest keys to having a happy life. Most people spend at least eight hours a day at work. Some people more than that. If you have a cell phone, Blackberry, e-mail at home, then you may be on-call 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. If you have a "job" instead of a "passion" then you are probably miserable. It is paramount to find out what it is that you are passionate about and find a way to do that for a living. You love children-why not be a teacher, a nanny, a camp counselor, etc. You love cooking-become a chef, start your own catering business, write a cookbook. You love nature-become a gardner, work at a State or National Park, start your own touring company. Write down a list of things that you love to do. Now you have the direction in which to take your career.

For example, I took a character strengths survey on www.authentichappiness.org (good website and even better book by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D.). My strengths are a love of learning, curiosity and interest in the world, appreciation of beauty and excellence, creativity, ingenuity and originality, and judgement, critical thinking and open-mindedness. I love reading, writing, photography and helping people. It is so important to do what you love because you are spending at least a third of your life doing it.

Inspirational Quotes

A good quote can stick with you and make a lasting impression. Two of my favorites:

"Don't Be Afraid That Your Life Will End, Be Afraid That It Will Never Begin"-author unknown

"Every Sixty Seconds You Spend Upset Is A Minute Of Happiness You Will Never Get Back"-Thoreau

My Commandments for Contentment

Thou Shalt Not Be Negative
Thou Shalt Believe In Thyself At All Times
Thou Shalt Not Hate Thy Neighbor Because
Thou Shalt Not Concern Thyself With What Others Do
Thou Shalt Not Concern Thyself With What Others Think
Thou Shalt Not Be Unhappy
Thou Shalt Not Care For Material Wealth; Only Spiritual Wealth
Thou Shalt Strive To Be A Good Person
Thou Shalt Seek Out Peace
Thou Shalt Simplify Thy Life